This book explain how your own subconscious thoughts shape your life and your surroundings.
If you want to be successful at something then just start doing it. You will reach to your goals at some point as long as you keep the right mindset and learn the tasks.
Dr Murphy explains each and everything with real life examples making it simple for the reader to relate and develop. This book offers some really great skills to learn with numerous examples. You can read some of the stories below.
I would recommend this book to anyone.
Chapter 16: Your Subconscious Mind and Harmonious Human Relations
The Daily Headlines Made Him Sick
A woman wrote me to ask for help with her husband. She explained that he went into a rage every time he read what certain columnists wrote in the newspaper. She added that this constant reaction of anger and suppressed rage on his part was very bad for his high blood pressure. His doctor had told him that he had to find some way to reduce his stress through emotional reconditioning.
I invited this man to come see me. I explained to him the way his mind functions. He understood that it was emotionally immature to get angry over an article in the newspaper, but he had not known the damage his anger was causing to his own mind and body.
He began to realize that he should give the columnist the freedom to express himself even if he disagreed with him politically, religiously, or in any other way. In the same manner, the columnist ought to give him the freedom to write a letter to the newspaper disagreeing with his published statements. He learned that he could disagree without being disagreeable. He awakened to the simple truth that it is never what some other person says or does that affects him. Rather, it is his own reaction to what is said or done that matters.
This explanation helped this man achieve a cure. He realized that with a little practice he could master his morning tantrums. His wife later told me that he eventually learned to laugh at what the columnists he so disliked had to say. He also learned to laugh at himself for reacting so strongly. The newspaper articles no longer have power to disturb, annoy, and irritate him. His hypertension is more under control as a result of his increased emotional poise and serenity.
I Hate Women, But I Like Men
Cynthia R. was an executive secretary with a large corporation. She came to me because she felt very bitter toward some of the women in her office. She believed they were gossiping and, as she said, spreading vicious lies about her. When I asked, she admitted that she had many problems in her relationships with other women. She said, “I hate women, but I like men.”
As I continued to talk with her, I discovered that Cynthia spoke to the people she supervised in a very haughty, imperious, and irritable tone of voice. There was a certain pomposity in her way of speaking, and I could see where her tone of voice would affect some people unpleasantly. She did not realize this. For her, the important point was that her coworkers took delight in making things difficult for her.
If all the people in your office or factory annoy you, isn’t it possible that this annoyance and turmoil may be due to some subconscious pattern or mental projection that is coming from you? We all know that a dog will react ferociously if you hate or fear dogs. Animals pick up your subconscious vibrations and react accordingly. Is it so outrageous to say that human beings are just as sensitive as dogs, cats, and other animals in this regard?
To this woman who hated women, I suggested a process of prayer. I explained to her that when she began to identify herself with spiritual values and commenced to affirm the truths of life, her hatred of women would completely disappear, along with the vocal patterns and mannerisms that communicated that hatred to others. She was surprised to learn that our emotions show up in our speech, actions, writings, and in all phases of our life.
As a result of our conversation, Cynthia stopped behaving in her typical resentful and angry way. She established a pattern that she practiced regularly, systematically, and conscientiously in the office.
The practice transformed her life. She found that the atmosphere of criticism and annoyance in her workplace gradually disappeared. Her coworkers became friends and companions in life’s journey. She discovered the truth, that we have no one to blame and no one to change but ourselves.
His Inner Speech Held back His Promotion
One day Jim S., a sales representative, came to see me. He was deeply upset by the difficulties he had working with the sales manager of his organization. Jim had been with the company ten years without receiving any promotion or recognition of any kind. He showed me his sales figures. I could easily see that they were higher proportionately than those of the other sales representatives in the territory. His explanation was that the sales manager did not like him. He claimed that he was unjustly treated. At conferences the manager ridiculed his suggestions and at times was actively rude to him.
After discussing his situation in greater detail, I suggested to Jim that the cause was to a great degree within himself. His concept and belief about his superior bore witness to the reaction of this man. The measure we mete shall be measured to us again. Jim’s mental measure or concept of the sales manager was that he was mean, prejudiced, and cantankerous. Jim was filled with bitterness and hostility toward the executive. On his way to work he conducted a vigorous conversation with himself filled with criticism, mental arguments, recriminations, and denunciations of his sales manager.
What Jim gave out mentally, he was inevitably bound to get back. By the end of our conversation, Jim realized that his inner speech was highly destructive. The intensity and force of his silent thoughts and emotions, the mental condemnation and vilification of the sales manager that he rehearsed entered into his own subconscious mind. This brought about the negative response from his boss, as well as creating other personal, physical, and emotional disorders.
He repeated this out loud slowly, quietly, and feelingly, knowing that his mind is like a garden and that whatever he plants in the garden will come forth like seeds after their kind.
I also taught him to practice visualization or mental imagery prior to sleep. He created a scenario in which his superior congratulated him on his fine work, praised his zeal and enthusiasm, and remarked on the wonderful response he obtained from customers. He felt the reality of all this. He felt his boss’s handshake, heard the tone of his voice, and saw him smile. He made a real mental movie, dramatizing it to the best of his ability. Night after night he replayed this mental movie, knowing that his subconscious mind was the receptive medium on which his conscious imagery would be impressed.
Gradually, by a process of what we can think of as mental and spiritual osmosis, the impression was made on his subconscious mind. The expression automatically came forth. Jim’s sales manager subsequently called him up to San Francisco, congratulated him, and gave him a promotion to division sales manager, with greatly increased responsibilities and a substantial raise in salary. Once Jim changed his concept and estimate of his boss, his subconscious mind saw to it that his boss responded accordingly.
She Hated Her Audiences
Marie C. had always dreamed of being an actress. She studied theater in college, then had the good fortune to be hired by an important regional theater company in a part of the country she did not know at all. The first time she performed with the company, the audience booed her. Dismayed and angry, she decided that the people of that region were stupid, ignorant, and backward. She hated them all. After a miserable time, she was dropped from the company. She moved back to the area where she had grown up, and left the stage to work as a waitress.
One day a friend invited her to go to a lecture in Town Hall in New York City. The topic was “How to Get Along with Ourselves.” This lecture changed her life. She began to see that she had overreacted to her early experience with the regional company. She admitted to herself that the play she had been in that first time was not good and that, as a new member of the company, she had probably not been at her best. The fault did not lie with the people in the audience, but with the way she accepted their reaction, then turned it back on them in the form of negative energy.
Marie decided to return to the stage and to her lifelong dream of being an actress. She began to pray sincerely for the audience and for herself. She poured out love and goodwill every night before stepping onto the stage. She made it a habit to claim that the peace of God filled the hearts of all present and that all present were lifted up and inspired. During each performance she sent out love vibrations to the audience. Today, she has an important career in theater. She transmits her goodwill and esteem to others, and they return it in kind.
Misery Loves Company
A man named Bruce T. who attended my lectures in London told me of his experience with this process. He had become active in a volunteer organization that was concerned with beautifying the community where he lived. Most of the volunteers were genuinely interested in working on planting gardens, sprucing up rundown areas, and repairing dilapidated buildings. One member, however, opposed every measure that anyone suggested. More than that, he constantly attacked the motives of the others. He made the meetings of the group so unpleasant that attendance began to decline.
Some of the other members came to Bruce. They suggested that they band together and expel the grouch from the organization. He was about to go along with this plan when he realized that to do so would be to perpetuate the man’s twisted attitudes within himself. Instead, he began to visualize the man changing into a pleasant, cooperative member of the group. Before each meeting, Bruce went into a quiet corner and repeated, I think, speak, and act in true accord with the principle of harmony and peace within myself. All who bind themselves to the goals of our organization do so with kindness and purpose in divine order. There is no discord, no unpleasantness. Creative intelligence leads, rules, and guides us in all we do.
After several weeks, the man who had caused so much trouble proposed a new initiative. He presented it in such an agreeable and cooperative manner that he won the approval of everyone else in the organization, including those who had wanted to kick him out.
The Practice of Empathy in Human Relations
A young woman named Alice O. visited me recently. She told me that she had long hated another young woman in the office where she worked. Her reason was that the other woman was prettier, happier, and more prosperous than she. The crowning blow came when the other woman became engaged to marry the CEO of the company, whom Alice had long admired.
One day after the marriage took place, the woman she so disliked came into work with her daughter from a previous marriage. Alice had not known her coworker had a child or even that she had been married before. Because of a congenital problem, the woman’s daughter wore a steel leg brace. Alice overheard her say to her mother, “Mommy, is this where my new daddy works too? I love this place, because it is so full of people I love.”
“My heart suddenly went out to that little girl,” Alice told me. “I knew how happy she must feel. I got a vision of how happy this woman was, against odds I had not even known about. All of a sudden I felt love for her. I went into her office and wished her all the happiness in the world. And I meant it.”
In that moment, Alice experienced what psychologists call empathy. This is not the same thing as sympathy, in which we understand the feelings of others. It is more. It means imaginatively projecting yourself into the mental attitudes and states of the other person. When Alice projected her mental mood or the feeling of her heart into that of the other woman, it was as if she began to think through the other woman’s experience. She was thinking and feeling as the other woman, and also as the child, because she had also projected herself into the mind of the child.
Your subconscious mind is a recording machine that reproduces your habitual thinking. Think good of the other, and you are actually thinking good about yourself.
Your mind is a creative medium; therefore, what you think and fed about the other, you are bringing to pass in your own experience. This is the psychological meaning of the Golden Rule. As you would that others should think about you, think you about them in the same manner.
You are responsible for the way you think about the other. Remember, the other person is not responsible for the way you think about him or her. Your thoughts are reproduced. What are you thinking now about the other person?
Wish for the other what you wish for yourself. This is the key to harmonious human relations.
Rejoice in the success, promotion, and good fortune of others. In doing so, you attract good fortune to yourself.
Never yield to another’s emotional scenes and tantrums. Appeasement never wins. Do not be a doormat. Adhere to that which is right. Stick to your ideal, knowing that the mental outlook that gives you peace, happiness, and joy is right, good, and true. What blesses you, blesses all.
All you owe any person in the world is love, and love is wishing for everyone what you wish for yourself – health, happiness, and all the blessings of life.